I am tired of the sickness that has been spreading through the office spaces across the country for the past decade or more.
Losing your edge.
I watched a drift where leadership transitioned from “visionary” to “accommodating.” It started with a noble enough goal, dropping the stiff corporate suit to be the “Cool Boss.” But somewhere between the casual Fridays and the open-door policies, the door got taken off the hinges, and the leadership got walked all over.
If you feel like you’re being pushed around by your own team, you aren’t alone. But you are responsible.
The “Cool Boss” Trap
The desire to be liked is a dangerous instinct for a CEO. When you prioritize being the “friend” over being the “founder,” the power dynamic shifts.
- Boundary Erosion: Requests for flexibility become demands for special treatment.
- The Approval Loop: You stop making the right decisions and start making the popular ones.
- The Respect Deficit: People don’t work harder for a “buddy”; they work harder for a leader they respect (and maybe fear just a little bit).
The reality? Trying to please everyone usually results in a culture where no one is actually performing at their peak.
High Standards Aren’t “Mean”
Somewhere along the way, having high standards was rebranded as being “difficult.” Let’s clear the air: It is okay to be hard to work for.
Excellence is not comfortable. If you are building something world-class, the pressure should be felt by everyone involved. You aren’t running a social club; you’re running a business. Remember, jobs are optional for your team. They chose to be there because they want the paycheck, the mission, or the prestige. In exchange, they owe you their absolute best.
If they can’t meet the bar, they are free to find a “softer” environment.
Stop Lowering the Bar
If you’ve been diluting your vision or softening your feedback to avoid “hurting feelings,” you are doing your company a disservice.
- Don’t change who you are. * Don’t apologize for expecting results. * Don’t lower the standard to match the lowest performer.
The Power of Radical Authenticity
People talk a lot about “authentic leadership” these days, but they usually mean being vulnerable. True authenticity is being exactly who you are, even if that person is demanding, intense, or, to some, an asshole.
If being an “asshole” means you refuse to accept mediocrity, then wear the label. It’s better to be a demanding leader who is honest and authentic than a “nice” leader who is resentful and ineffective. Employees actually prefer a boss who is consistently tough over one who is unpredictably “kind” but secretly disappointed.
The Bottom Line: Your business deserves the version of you that started it, the one with the fire, the one who didn’t take “no” for an answer, and the one who knew exactly how high the bar should be. It’s time to stop being the Cool Boss and start being the CEO again.
Take your edge back.